Day Eight.

So I was reading Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale when I came across the following stage direction:

Exit, pursued by a bear.

And I thought to myself, what if I could get Zach to be in The Winter’s Tale? Because then if I was the director and if I rented a bear suit then I could chase him offstage, and it would be perfectly in character for me to kick him in the shins, in front of a rapt audience. That would be embarrassing for him.. So then I was like, okay, I need a bear suit. So I called the bear suit shop and was all, hey G, how much to rent a bear suit, and G, the owner, was like ‘500 bucks.’ and I was like what, does it look like I am made of money? For it does not grow on trees. Do I look like a tree? I should do, for there is no money growing on me.

This quest to physically remove Zach’s shin flesh from his shin bone was going to be more of a drain on my wallet than I’d previously expected. So I put that plan on hold. It has been mentally filed under “Shins, ways to kick Zach in the, dramatic examples of.”

But tomorrow I will kick Zach in the shins. In front of a paying audience. ‘Are you not entertained?’ I will scream, holding Zach’s shins in the air. I will drink deep of the audience’s approval, and yell in pure animalistic aggression.


Listening to: Badly Drawn Boy - The Shining