Day One.

So today I finally worked up the courage to kick Zach in the shins. It took a bit of psyching up, and I spent a couple hours throwing up in the office toilets, but I finally got it together and decided that today was definitely the day.

So I walked up to Zach when he was sitting at his desk, and was just about to reach out a leg and rake it forcefully, languorously, down his left shin, but I realised that I couldn't really do it while his legs were under his desk because the angles just didn't add up. So I stood there, for the longest time, waiting for him to turn around. I mean, what could I do? Just leave? How pathetic would that be? Seriously, what would you have done in my place? And then Zach spun around in his swivel chair and was all like "What do you want?" and I lost my nerve and was all like "nothing" and I walked away and threw up again.

But tomorrow I will kick Zach in the shins.


Listening to: The Shins - Kissing the Lipless